[Welcome][7th Tradition][Etiquette][DA Definitions][FAQ][DA Reading List] [Outside DA Literature][Links][Debtors Anonymous Home Page]

1. Pressure Relief Groups

Pressure Relief Groups - generally one man and one woman with at least three months solvency act as PRG people, the three of you meet usually for an hour to an hour and a half at a time. Usually the first meeting (or two or three) is to formulate a spending plan from your records of spending kept over one to two months. After the plan is in place a PRG can be scheduled to help deal with any issue over which you are feeling pressure or whenever changes need to be made to your plan. There is a DA pamphlet Pressure Groups and Pressure Meetings that give great guidance in PRGs.

Response from a member:

The following is from the list of tools of Debtor's Anonymous:

"After we have gained some familiarity with the DA program, we organize Pressure Relief Groups, consisting of ourselves and two other persons from the group who have been abstinent for three months, and who usually have more experience in the program. The group meets in a series of Pressure Relief meetings to review our financial situation."

I have found PRG's invaluable to my recovery. I have one on a monthly basis, unless unforeseen circumstances arise. I have a man and a woman, which is recommended, but gender should not keep you from forming a group with 2 men or 2 women. The meeting is one and a half hours long. I arrive with a list of current pressures, be them financial or not. One member of the PRG is the "secretary" so to speak. We start by creating an agenda, which usually starts with reviewing the previous months action plan and how much of it I was able to achieve, and if something needs to be carried over to the current month, it is put on the new action plan. We go down my list of pressures. The group makes suggestions, usually an action, and it is put on my list.

The action plan for the month gives me an enormous amount of direction. When I have completed something I check it off and move on. I think if I didn't have the action plan I might not be able to continue to move in a forward direction, so to speak. I have a lot of what I will call financial loose ends and can't often see my way out - or see what I need to do to bring a situation to resolution. The PRG helps. I also stay in close contact with them, as well as my sponsor, and use their ESH to guide me through solvency.

2. Sponsorship

How do I go about getting a sponsor? What does a sponsor do? How do I know the sponsor I pick is someone who can really help me out?

Response from first member:

You get a sponsor by listening for someone with whom you can identify, whose program work attracts you and then you ask them. Sometimes you have to ask a lot of people before finding someone who is available. Your sponsor is the person to whom you tell everything, who knows the whole, real you so that when issues come up you don't have to do a lot of background explaining after time in the relationship. A sponsor is sort of like your recovery coach, they help you in your step work, they guide, suggest, listen and love you. You will never really know if they are the "right" sponsor for you until you give them a try. You may have only one sponsor for a long time or you may have a few to several sponsors. You never have to keep a sponsor forever if the relationship doesn't serve you.

Response from second member:

Get a sponsor and pressure relief group by asking, asking asking asking asking until you get what you need. Not everyone can help but it is good discipline to ask for what we need. We have no control over people's answers but we have control over our ability to ask and ask.

In my experience there are many online DA people in need of sponsors, and proportionally few online DA people available to sponsor. Therefore, those who can sponsor typically wait for someone to ask them personally. They need to know that the people they choose to sponsor are willing to do whatever it takes -- all the footwork -- to recover. Sponsoring is quite a commitment of time and energy and it is right for folks on both sides to consider this choice carefully. A potential sponsee who is wiling to go through the difficult but necessary process of asking for help may be more willing to do the other footwork that a sponsor will encourage them to do on the path to recovery.

Therefore, asking the group as a whole nearly never results in a sponsor volunteering out of the blue. Personal risk taking through personal inquiries seems the best method of actually acquiring a sponsor, although it is difficult.

Another member response:

If you need constant contact, you will have to work really hard to find it. This program has very busy people in it. But keep trying keep trying keep trying. Especially Pressure Relief Groups (PRGs) are where miracles can happen. And yes, if you feel really unsafe with your people do find new ones. However, don't go shopping every time you get challenged... PRGs are for our best interest and should be nurturing but they often give hard assignments. No, they are not therapy. Yes, they are a balancing process for addict thinking and planning ahead.

3. 12 Steps

How do the 12 steps work? I have read them but can't seem to connect how they are going to help me get out of debt.

Response from first member:

I don't know HOW they work, I just have absolute proof in my life that when I work the steps, my life soars. When I was reading them and intellectualizing about them they didn't work for me. It wasn't until I did all the suggestions regarding the steps as outlined in the Big Book (reading, writing, praying, sharing) and began applying the principles behind them to my life that my life improved. The purpose of the steps is to help you recover spiritually - the side effect is that you will eventually get out of debt. I have gained far more than just being debt-free.

Response from second member:

Debting is a vicious cycle. I debt because I am in pain and I am in pain because I debt. The cycle blinds me to what started the cycle. I am like a mouse caught in a wheel that had forgotten the cat I was running from when I jumped on the wheel. I don't even know if the cat is still there, I just keep running in circles to get away.

My first sponsor told me that I get out of debt by refraining from incurring debt. When I stop debting, I am left with the pain, and I do not know what to do with pain. I do not know how to live with pain. So, I return to debt to ease the pain and find it causes pain. I do this a lot. Then I ask, how do I live with this pain and not debt? For me, the answer was the 12 steps.
In my experience, the steps teach me how to live without debting compulsively. They do not promise a life without pain. But they give me tangible methods of dealing with my pain. In their essence, for me, the steps are about making right my relationships with people and my higher power. That is to say, the steps teach me that I can lessen my pain, by turning my attention outwards, and treating others with respect. They even teach me how to fix the mistakes, or mistreatment of others from my past. I wanted this not to sound mystical, but very practical for a newcomer, but I wonder if I've succeeded.

Response from a member:
I'm reminded of the story in Chapter 3 of the Big Book. The one about the car salesman who decides to get a sandwich and then puts the milk in his whiskey. The story describes how he had "failed to enlarge his spiritual life" (or something to that effect), and so got drunk again. The steps are how we get that spiritual solution. Step 12 tells us that we can have a spiritual awakening as THE result of these steps. The PR groups I had before I stopped using them and relapsed all emphasized the steps. Working steps 4 through 9 prepare me for a life of debt-free living. How can I tell who I owe what to without working the steps, such as 8 and 9. After all, my financial creditors are far from the most pressing sources of guilt and shame over my debting actions.

4. Bookending

It actually comes from the picture of two bookends on either side of a book, holding up the book(s).

First, you call someone (or post here) to tell them what you plan to do, especially if it is a scary action you need to make for recovery. Sometimes you say what your feelings are. Sometimes you discuss options for how to deal with the possible responses of the person you are calling. Sometimes you just say "I'm going to do this action."

Second, you do the action you committed to do.
Third, you call/post to the person/group you originally committed to, and check in with them. You tell them how it went. You might give your feelings, how you wish it had gone, how it did go, how you might do it again differently, and hopefully the sense of relief we often feel after doing something scary. I've even bookended to an answering machine on occasion. Just that was all it took for me to commit to a scary thing. It is a powerful tool.

5. Visions
Response from a member: I purchased and read the DA pamphlet "Visions" at least once a month. I have also done a collage of my vision and this worked well. In addition, I have a wish list that I keep with all my "money stuff" so whenever I am having difficulty sticking to my plan I can be reminded of my practical purpose. I pray daily so that I am reminded of my spiritual purpose.

Response from second member: As it says in the "Promises", we are to know a new freedom and a new happiness. After we have become solvent (no longer incurring new unsecured debt), and have stabilized our financial situation, we can then open ourselves up to ideas of greater prosperity and freedom. This is very personal. It's about your visions for the future. It comes as a byproduct of solvency and financial stability.

6. How do I deal with creditors, especially collection agencies?

The experience of a DA member who has intimate knowledge of how collection agencies are run. We are extremely grateful to have permission to reprint this experience. However, please keep in mind that this is one person's experience, and your own situation may vary. Take what you want and leave the rest. Please click here!

In any of your own problems with creditors, it is almost always a good idea to consult with your Pressure Relief Group and sponsor before making important financial decisions. If you are currently in legal trouble, it is always important to get competent legal counsel.